so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
