youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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