Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
