I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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