SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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