I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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