we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
