she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
