I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
