the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
