Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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