i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
