I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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