It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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