Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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