Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mom said you looked used
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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