I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just invented taco cereal.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
