Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
