i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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