You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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