After last night, I could never be a politician.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
