So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
