Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
