Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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