So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
