Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
