how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
two words: eviction party
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
