I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
