ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
