My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
