Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
