Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
