It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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