so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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