Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
