Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
