i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
