So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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