how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
4 words: hood of his car
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
