If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
