i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
