Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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