my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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