yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize