I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
