I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
