We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
