he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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