She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
