Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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