I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize