I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
do herpes really smell.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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