Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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