So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
