I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize