Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
