there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
