I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize