I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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