we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
